So last saturday morning im in the gym, tearing up the 200lb dumbells and the gym manager comes over and starts giving me hell about snapping sum bars squatting. Hes like "those bars werent built to handle that kinda weight" so i tell him "your face wasnt built to handle my 18's" so he backs off and goes back to his desk.
Im half way into my 5 hour routine, musta had about half a ton over my head when some guy in a cheap --- suit comes over. His glasses damn near cracked seeing me shifting some serious pounds. Im like "what the hell u want son?" and hes all sorry for bustin in on my session. He tells me hes from some huge --- company, they heard about me, how im serious in the muscle world, they had to send someone down to check on this polish revolution.
Hes all like "we want you to back our new supplement" so i throw down the weights and tell him "go find a protein wanksta, im natural jacked" but hes all grinin telling me their new blend is 100% proteins free, meant for professional athletes like me. Tells me hes got a quarter mil in his briefcase and a first class ticket to the labs to do some testing n whatever, see if im on board.
Flew out to the lab tht night, they got pictures of me all over the walls, studying my jacked frame, wanna know how my muscles work. Hook me up to sum machines, testing my strength, scene like right outta Rocky 4 except i aint no fake --- actor, .Went off the scale on every damn test, got dudes in white coats running all over the place, alarms going off everywhere, musta blown the computers, they aint built to calculate muscle this dense. One guys tries to xray my biceps, see how deep these diamond cuts go, problem is the xrays cant pass through my fibras, turns out my body is like a piece of lead, they aint never seen nothin like this before.
ABout an hour later and they bring me some samples, got my face on the container, marketing knew my polska good looks will help shift a couple hundred million boxes. Comes in two flavors, vanilla and jack daniels. Im like "this work?" and the management starts laughing "hell, no, its just grounded up bones , meant for dudes with weak --- genetics who cant grow muscles natural" Me n the directors hollering for a good 20 mins at the thought of those dudes who buy this thinking they gonna get jacked. just a pay day to me though son.
Signed a couple hundred autographs for the directors n workers, got in a quick bicep workout then flew home with another 2 mil.
_________________ Sabrina, don't just stare at it, eat it.
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