How To Shower Like a Woman:

Take off clothing and place it in sectioned
laundry hamper according to lights and darks.

Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown.
If you see husband along the way, cover up any
exposed areas.

Look at your womanly physique in the mirror - make
mental note to do more sit-ups/leg-lifts, etc.

Get in the shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg
cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone.

Wash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo
with 43 added vitamins.

Wash your hair again to make sure it's clean.

Condition your hair with grapefruit mint
conditioner enhanced with rea l passion fruit.

Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub
for 10 minutes until red..

Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa
cake body wash.

Rinse conditioner off hair.

Shave armpits and legs.

Turn off shower.

Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower.

Spray mold spots with Tilex.

Get out of shower and stand on bath mat.

Dry with towel the size of a small country.

Wrap hair in super absorbent towel.

Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and
towel on head.

If you see husband along the way, cover up any
exposed areas.


How To Shower Like a Man:

Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the
bed and leave them in a pile.

Walk naked to the bathroom.

If you see wife along the way, shake wiener at her
making the woo-woo' sound.

Look at your manly physique in the mirror.

Admire the size of your wiener and scratch your
---.

Get in the shower Wash your face. Wash your
armpits.

Blow your nose in your hands and let the water
rinse them off.

Fart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the
shower.

Spend majority of time washing privates and
surrounding area.

Wash your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs
stuck on the soap.

Wash your hair. Make a Shampoo Mohawk. Pee.

Rinse off and get out of shower. Avoid bath mat.

Dry off forearms and butt only.

Fail to notice water on floor because curtain was
hanging out of tub the whole time.

Admire wiener size in mirror again. Shake it to
watch water fly off.

Leave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light
and fan on.

Return to bedroom with towel around waist..

If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake wiener at
her and make the woo-woo' sound again.

Throw wet towel on bed.

Priceless, and true!

You been peeking in my bathroom window?

I didn't think you'd catch me

Save water, shower with a friend.